Rain.

We live in West Texas. We’ve been in a drought for years. When Katelyn was 3 she would pray for rain every day. It hardly ever rained.

We had some fabulous cold front blow in over night and it is absolutely flooded outside. Gorgeous, earth cleaning rain. And on a Sunday.

It couldn’t get much more perfect.

The past week felt like a whirlwind. I feel like I’ve gotten a handle on all of the negative self talk regarding my ability to be a mom.

And we go on.

In college I majored in Human Development and Family Studies. I took countless classes regarding development and behavior. Post college I immediately started working with Children’s Protective Services and a large part of my job was to assess children. I still do that in my new role. Sometimes I think it has greatly influenced the way I view my own child.

Katelyn has always been what would be called a “spirited” child. She didn’t sleep as an infant. She has always done things her own way or “marched to the beat of her own drum” as my mother likes to put it.

She’s different.

Sometimes I’ve overanalyzed that we’re dealing with the Austim spectrum. I’ve worried. I’ve read.

And some days I realize she’s perfect just as she is.

I’ve had to adapt my expectations of how I see her and how we parent her. I’m sure we will have to keep adapting as she grows older.

Today we downloaded a reward based chart and hung it on the fridge. We’ve tried things like this in the past but were not consistent enough as parents. One of her daily goals is listening. She’s had a rough day with it. Now that she’s realized she probably isn’t going to get a sticket she started yelling “You are both not fair!” and slammed her door. She’s sobbing in her room.

I am sitting here wondering if I should comfort her or if this is just a not pleasant lesson she is going to have to learn.

She is such an intelligent child. And she is so, so sensitive.

We have to find a balance somehow. I want to create limits without causing her to feel like she is inadequate. I am just not sure how to get there. Yet.

I’m hopeful by the end of the week when she does get to see some stickers that it will help her learn to make good decisions. We talk about good and bad choices a lot. And I have to remind myself she is 5. She is learning and changing every day.

I just want to be the best mom I can be for her. I want her to grow into the incredible person I know she will be. I suppose I never realized that being a parent means that you grow and change with your child.

But on this gorgeous, rainy Sunday – we are growing and changing together.